I have a friend named Jenny. Typically, if you know me... you know her. We've been friends since Evan was just a few weeks old and she was still pregnant with Mason. She's become my on the side therapist listening to me say the same things over and over. She experienced the tornado with me. Literally. She was still on the phone with me, in my pocket, when it hit our house. She was in Greenville the next day to see us. She came up every week. She collected donations and helped us rebuild our home. All while her husband was still in CAX and she had Mason. Yeah, I think she's superwoman too.
But I was talking with her the other day and telling her about how I didn't understand why I'm struggling with my issues and she reminded me something of something so simple: I have a lot to be thankful for. I've known all along that I am so blessed to have survived. That my son has no lifelong injuries (that we know of) and will hopefully continue to have a normal childhood. Yes, those two things I am VERY aware of. But the fact that I still struggle trying to find the joy in my life is a problem. I don't understand why it's hard for me to enjoy life anymore. Why I don't feel like going out or doing things. Why my once pristine home is now a disaster all the time. I feel lazy, I feel ungrateful and I don't know why.
So I'm going to try and keep a reminder of why my life really isn't terrible. Because it's not. My mind and body just act like it is.
*I have a beautiful, happy, HEALTHY, amazing son named Evan. He is the pride and joy of my life. He can make me smile on the most terrible of days. He is caring and loves to give me hugs and ask me why I'm sad. He is the best thing I have ever done in my life.
*My husband is more than I could ever ask for. He is supportive of everything I do. He plays the role of both parents when I am at school tuesday and thursday nights. Whenever I am overloaded with homework, he always helps in any way possible. He has suck by my side when I don't deserve it.
*I have a supportive family. My entire family was at the hospital within 24 hours of the news. They put their life on pause to be by our sides and help in any way possible. They take joy and pride in my, Jesse, and Evan's accomplishments. They love us unconditionally.
*I am thankful for my friend Jenny. For listening to my endless rants. For being by my side when I needed it the most. For telling me when I'm being stupid.
*I am thankful that I can go to school. As much as it drains me, it's a great feeling knowing that I soon will be able to have a job that can provide for my family. And I'm thankful that I'm doing well! And was accepted into two major schools that I love!
*I'm thankful that even though my biggest injury form the tornado (my teeth) is a pain in my ass, I don't have to pay for it. AMCC graciously donated $9,000 towards my dental work and Dr. Hehr and Dr. Green are doing the rest at no cost to me. It's so difficult to not have four front teeth. It's embarrassing. It's impossible to eat most things. It's painful. It's tiring. But I am getting that fixed for free. And for a $34,000 procedure, I can't ask for anything more. My smile may not be as beautiful as it once was due to such extensive damage, but at least I can smile. And I have things to smile about.
No comments:
Post a Comment